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Living with Luke 39

March 12, 2014

So…

This is not as sad as it sounds.  Alright, it IS sad but it’s also quite funny in a sad sort of way.

Ok, so on reflection it is sad, but at the time I thought it was funny. Confused? Ha! You ain’t seen nothing yet!

Soooo, anyway. I was in the kitchen last week, attending to my duties and the question of whether or not Tiddles ‘loves’ me came up again.

“He does love you.” said TCMH.

“Maybe in his own way.” I replied.

“He does!” insisted The Current Mrs Hannam. “Luke, do you love daddy?” Tiddles took a brief moment to consider the question. I could tell he was thinking about it because he looked up from his iPod.

“No…” came the blunt reply. I laughed only because I knew he was going to say that. TCMH however, wouldn’t give up.

“Aww you do!” she said, “Tell daddy you love him.” And then in a moment of connection, Tiddles looked at her and said,

“I don’t love daddy…” As sad as this was, I still laughed, mainly because he had engaged in an actual conversation and responded exactly how a ‘normal’ person should/would respond. TCMH still wouldn’t give it up though.

“He doesn’t know what he’s saying!” she said, almost echoing Tom Cruise in ‘Rainman’ (ironically). “Luke, do you love your iPod?” I could see him through the hatch as he shook his head. “You don’t love your iPod?”

“No…”

“See!” she called, almost triumphantly, “And what about mummy? Do you love mummy?”

“Yes…”

“Oh…”

“There you go,” I shouted, “proof, if proof were needed!”

“Well, he does love you…” came the muttered reply.

The thing is, I know he does, but it certainly is in his own way and only on his terms. And as evidenced by the above, it can be painfully fickle at times. He will sit with me and not always because he wants my Amazon account. He likes me chasing him around the house and tickling him, but I can’t make him love me anymore than anybody can force somebody to love them. He does like to whack me, as i’ve mentioned previously, but I have noticed that the slaps and kicks are getting harder these days. This is probably all my fault as I tend to play up these ‘attacks’ which only makes him want to do them more. With TCMH, he knows he has to apologise, but with ‘goodbye daddy’ he is aware he can get away with it. But I would rather it was me than anybody else. If it lets him vent a moment of anger/annoyance/or even pain, then that’s fine. I just hope that he is aware, somewhere in the back of his mind that he knows that I love him, and will continue to do so for the rest of our lives together.

The sore shins and kneecaps may come back to haunt me in later life though…

I haven’t quoted any song lyrics for a while, so here’s some from Simple Minds, ‘All The Things She Said.’ Although obvioulsy written about a lady, the bridge of this song always makes me think of Tiddles and maybe, just maybe in my little fantasy world this is what he thinks sometimes as he looks across from Narnia.

“Oh to be near you in the first morning light,
I’d be with you, I dream about you.
If I could leave here, I would leave here tonight,
I’d be with you, I’d stay with you, tonight.”

We can all dream can’t we?

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