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Living with Luke 55

January 17, 2015

My quiet Prince…

Except he’s not of course. He’s loud and vocal, constantly chattering and shouting at times. He repeats lines from a wide variety of films and television shows from Batman Forever through to Batman the animated series (70’s version), encompassing Stingray, Thunderbirds, Wind in The Willows, Willo The Wisp, Joe 90, Oakie Doke, Postman Pat, Fireman Sam and of course, the autistic’s weapon of choice, Thomas the Tank Engine along the way. At times it’s difficult to keep him quiet.

Except of course, when you speak directly to him.

Then, you’ll be lucky if he says more than 3 words to you. And they are 2 more than he actually wants to say to you. If he can make himself understood with a nod or a shake of his head, then he will. It’s only with a bit of prompting that you may get a ‘yes’. And then with more prompting, a ‘Yes. Please.’

It’s something we’ve tried to combat, but to no avail. My Quiet Prince knows on a deep level that we know what he wants and that we don’t need him to tell us. But we still try and get him to engage by asking.

Why? Why do we bother?

Because I/we love him. And that reaching across to Narnia is something I/we will never stop doing, because to do so will mean that I’ve lost him forever and I’m just not prepared to do that.

I wait patiently for THAT connection, that moment when HE becomes my boy, my son, my friend even if only for a second.

Understand that I COULD do something else. I COULD not bother to wait and when I get some of the reactions from Tiddles sometimes, nobody could blame me.

But these moments are precious. When they happen at home, I don’t tend to make too much of them. I think because I fear that in doing so would break the spell and I like to take the moments where and when I can.

I’m reminded of a great song taken from the latest album by (Sir) Billy Idol, ‘Love and Glory’, which contains the line;

In another universe, if the planets are reversed, would I still wait patiently, for you?”

Yes, yes I would.

There is no glory in being a parent to any child. If there was, then parents probably wouldn’t split up. Parenting can be hard, mainly because there is nobody that you can look to as THE ideal for How To Be A Parent. But we do it anyway and we do it for the love that possibly may come our way. And with Tiddles, possibly is an oft used word and that’s why I love the moments I do get and crave more of the time between us when he rejects me.

I’m grateful of course. How can I not be? It would be churlish of me to criticise the quality or quantity of the time we spend together, but of course, you always want more.

But, he is as ever, my beautiful boy. My son.

My Quiet Prince…

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