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Living with Luke 66

April 4, 2016

It’s funny where the inspiration for some of these blogs comes from. I’m sitting in the reception of a Holiday Inn, in Brentwood awaiting the start of a Speed Awareness course as a result of a speeding fine back in February. I’m not happy about it, but let’s get it over with. But whilst I’m waiting for it to begin, I’ve started writing this post and it’s all because of music.

Music, specifically my type of music, plays a big part in my life. It’s very rare that I drive anywhere without music on. Truth is, I’m not a huge talker in the car. If I’m not driving, I tend to feel a bit sick, so much prefer to close my eyes to combat the nausea. But most of the time, I’m watching the road…

The point of this post -eventually – is that I often wonder what Tiddles hears when he’s in the car with me. TCMH listens to Radio 2 when she’s driving and Tiddles is fine with that. I’ll put on my music and he is putting his hands over his ears, so I have to turn it down or off.

Now I know what you’re thinking. My music is crap. It’s not…I love it and that’s all that’s important, right? One man’s Rudimental is another man’s Birdie Song, I get that.

What I don’t get is what Tiddles doesn’t like. I think it’s the volume, so I turn it down so it’s not so intrusive in the back of the car for him. But then the other night, (we’ve moved on in time here, stay with me now, the course is finished.) he had his iPad, his computer, his DVD player AND his iPod all on, AND he was singing – loudly. And just what was he singing? A song called ‘Come and follow me’. Not heard of it? I’m not surprised, because it’s the end song from the 1986 ‘classic’ film ‘Short Circuit’…and Tiddles loves it. 

Of all the songs in the world, he’s latched onto that one. Now, to my ears, it’s awful, and I love most 80’s music. But to Tiddles, well who knows? Like I said…it’s the difference between Eric Clapton and Eric Morecombe…

But it makes him happy. Many’s the time he has sung something at the top of his voice, completely uninhibited, and oblivious of those around him. Normal for us, a bit disturbing for the rest of the mourners. (I’m kidding of course. He only goes to the Wake.)

But, as I’ve written about in ‘Life Lessons from Living with Luke’, he does these things without any fear. He, among all of us, is free. For the rest of us, it’s a slow, slow process to re-learn what we knew as children. He knows what he wants, what he wants to do and who he wants to spend time with. Sometimes, rarely, it’s me. And that’s the nature of our relationship at present. There was a period of time last week when he seemed extremely affectionate. Not any more tactile, just paying more attention to being near me it seemed. That faded, as I knew it would and the kicking of my ankles, the smacks and the stamping on my feet returned. Normal service was restored. But there was that point when it did seem that he was my little boy once again.  It was lovely, wonderful and welcome, but as ever it was all too quickly gone. My Quiet Prince was gone again. 

And then, all of a sudden, another Prince was gone. 

It’s really weird whilst writing a blog about music that one of your  musical heroes dies unexpectedly. I wasn’t so upset about Bowie, or Lemmy, but I was really knocked by this. I loved Prince and his music throughout the 80’s and part of the 90’s. 15 albums that pretty much shaped my teenage and early twenties, along with a few friends who were also fans. Admittedly I lost interest in his musical output from about 1995 onwards, but still I would revisit a lot of his brilliant earlier stuff, noting when he did release a new album.

And now he’s gone. He touched my life in a way that I’ll never be able to thank him for and instead, Tiddles will have to put up with more of my music. And much like Prince, Tiddles will never know or even understand the way he has touched my life. 

It’s a struggle. It always has been. But much like everything that you want, if it was easy to achieve then everyone would do it. 

So…is my music crap? You decide. 

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life…”

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2 Comments
  1. judith larsen permalink

    Hi I met you tonight with my grandson Jack and I’m now glad I came….I found myself very emotional and that’s because the play showed the truth of living with a child with autism. Even if just a’ third ‘ of the audience now try to understand , the autism awareness message has got through. Keep writing your blog’s, Steve, I intend to read all the back ones now. I wish the play lots of luck and hope you go on tour with it. Well done to all the cast & the producer.
    Kind regards
    Judi and Jack

    • Many thanks Judith, it was lovely to meet you and Jack. Yes, the more the play is seen I feel, then the more the message WILL get out there. Thank you again.

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